franticantic

Welcome to my NL-only draft page for 2008. There's nothing quite like drafting at a Hooters in a college town during the NCAA Final Four (Layfayette IN, home of Purdue U.) All comments and opinions are welcome. There's a description of how the league works at the end of the roster.

C Torrealba
C Iannetta
1B Hatteberg
2B Escobar
3B Wright
SS H. Ramirez
Middle Inf. Theriot
Corner Inf. Kouzmanoff
Util. Hardy
O Holliday
O Kemp
O Beltran
O Soriano
O Hart

P Cain
P Billingsley
P Peavy
P Lincicome
P Capps
P Wood
P Maddux
P Jiminez
P Marmol

This is a private league running since 1984, based on Bill James' "Rotisserie Handbook." NL-only 4X4, using Avg., HR, RBI, SB, W, S, ERA and Whip. It's auction-style with a salary cap, a keeper league with 12 maximum held over, and long-term contracts are available with escalating fees for each year a player is "signed." If a player under long-term contract is cut, his salary must be bought out in its entirety. This year, it happened that a lot of my offense was under contract (but unfortunately they become free agents after '08 - dang), so that's where most of my payroll went. On the pitching side, I was able to get Cain and Lincicome at a moderate price because no one thought they'd get wins, but I figured Cain can't be that unlucky 2 years in a row. Can he? My sources tell me Sabean about to be run out fo SF, and all will be splendid again in the city by the bay. I had to pay dearly for Wood, which killed me because I'll now have nightmares of his arm flying over my house 10 miles north of Wrigley. Then watch, they'll leave Marmol as a set-up man and Howry will ring up 40 Saves. Oh God, I'm nauseous.

But I will be strong. I've been through these early season panics before. Some have risked more than a nervous breakdown at this game. One of our founding members wrote a computer program that we actually entered the stats in off of morning box scores in the newspaper before Al Gore invented the internet, then got fired when the hospital he worked at went bankrupt because half of the IT department was playing roto all day. I'm inspired by that sort of thing, aren't you?

We drafted a week late this year due to conflicting travel schedules, but the first week's stats do count. You should see what that did to Cueto's and Hall's value (6 RBIs against the Cubs yesterday). All transactions during the year (putting a player on the DL, activating him, waiving him, signing off the waiver wire, etc.) have a fee. We stay pretty close to the original guidelines in James's book, but one thing we decided to institute is a Best Behavior rule. Under this rule, a player suspended for any reason cannot be released or DL'ed. He has to remain on your roster till the suspension is over, accumulating no stats. Over the years, Gooden, Strawberry, Raines, Howe, even Brett Myers (wife-beating) have killed many a team.

OK, Brian, I want your promise. That roid thing...it was just that one time, promise? DO YOU PROMISE???

Because here's what I think is going down. Bedard is going to the M's soon for Adam Jones and 4 minor leaguers and Angelos is going to need Pie like another hole in the head. That takes care of the major sticking point among not only our organization, but all of Cubdom. Unfortunately, Angelos still has a man-crush on you, so you will not come cheap.

Nevertheless, we're coming after you. You might not have noticed, but we boast a solid pitching staff -- not spectacular but very, very solid -- and all we did is get deeper in the off-season. You might not have also noticed that we blew last year when it came to advancing runners -- not just in the playoffs, but all season long -- and all we did is go on a shopping trip in Tokyo. That's a start.

Can you get used to the idea of being one of the best leadoff guys in baseball, hitting out of the #2 hole? Because no matter what anyone might prefer, Soriano is our leadoff guy. He sorta owns us...and not the other way around...for the next five or six years. Something happens in his head when he's not in the #1 hole, but so be it. We kinda like the look on an opposing pitcher's face when he comes off the mound down 1-0 at the end of the 1st. Now the thing is he sometimes racks a few K's too, or swings at crap and hits it to somebody, but you'll notice on his way back to the dugout he's always smiling. He's a happy-go-lucky guy.

And you should be too. That's because at those times when he doesn't hit a bomb, you'll essentially be our leadoff guy! Your job will be to get on base, maybe swipe one, and let's see if D-Lee, A-Ram or Fuku-San can get you home. (You can bring your own nickname from Baltimore...we're easy).

It will probably cost us some young pitching to get you. That's OK. We have a history of developing good pitching, but being a little weak on developing good hitting. I know what you're thinking: Won't Mark DeRosa have his feelings hurt, especially after his great efforts last year. The answer is a resounding NO! He hates playing second base, and has told me personally that he was born to be an uber-utility (his italics, not mine). He can occasionally stand in for Theriot (who's electric but ran out of gas last year), A-Ram (whose knee is not getting any younger), Soriano (who should see what it's like to NOT throw someone out at home so he can count his blessings) and Fukudome (who will realize soon enough that it's hard to maintain a super-high level of concentration with all that beaudacious ta-ta strutting through Wrigley on an afternoon in June).